“Did I Shave My Other Leg?”

Have you been so busy or caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts while physically doing something, that you start making mistakes or you begin asking yourself “did I do that already?” This just happened to me and while it is not the first time, I had to stop and think about it for once and tell myself to “SLOW DOWN.” My mind is constantly running, thinking about what has to be done, what's next, why, when, where, stressing and so on. While I was taking a shower and shaving my legs, my mind was racing...again... As I was about to get out of the shower, my thoughts came to a sudden stop. I asked myself, “did I even shave my other leg?” The answer to that question was...Nope!! My mind had been going so much that I only shaved one and not the other. I then realized that I really need to slow down and tackle everything in my life one step at a time.

Lesson learned: Give full attention to the task at hand to avoid mistakes, to be more efficient, or simply to keep from going crazy.

Reflections: A Message To My Past

Dear past,

I have had some great and memorable moments. Moments that have shaped me into the very person I am today. But there have been very dark moments as well...Dark moments that also contributed to who I am. I recently realized that I’ve allowed these moments to keep me behind bars, in a way. 

For a while I’ve walked around feeling like I’ve been chained to a heavy brick, unable to move freely, unable to run when I’m excited, and skip around when I’m happy. Instead, I find myself constantly looking back to you, my past, moving slowly and carefully forward, fearful that the dark moments may reflect themselves again in my future. I am truly not free. I yearn for this to end. I can’t keep living like this. I have decided that I will no longer allow you to have a hold over me. 

No longer will I indulge myself in fear because of you. No longer will I allow my experiences to make me feel ashamed, worried, and causing me to walk with uncertainty. 

Why the change, you ask? While speaking to a friend recently, I realized that the day I learn to really deal with the experiences of my past, and stop looking at it in a negative light but instead allow my experiences to make me stronger as they are intended to do, is the day that I will be free. 

I know it will not be easy but I choose to walk freely, using you--my past--as stepping stones instead of being tied down by you. I understand that I may have drawbacks but I fully intend to keep pushing forward as a free person and it will get easier to do so. You can never be replaced as you are the foundation of my very existence but you will no longer be my crutch.

Your’s Truly,

Tiana

#breakingchains #workingonabetterme #tiana #tianatenacity #daretolivefree

Hello World!

Hello World!

I go by the name of Tiana online and this is my story I'd like to share with the world.

Have you ever found it hard to open up about what is happening in your life or the lives around you? Some people don't want to be an open book, others are scared of how they will be perceived, and still others may just like keeping to themselves. I’ve often asked myself, "what category do I fall under?"

I’ve been very reluctant to share some of my journey with you until something happened that changed my mindset. After my baby girl had a seizure several weeks back, I shared a bit of this traumatizing experience on FB very late that night after everything settled down.  

I don't normally share things like this. But at the time, I think such feeling of helplessness and desperation overcame me and I had to reach out somewhere to something...to someone. FB just happened to be the "listening ear".

The next morning, feeling a bit of embarrassment and vulnerability, I wanted to delete my post only to find that there were over 30 comments and counting on my post by friends sending their love, support and prayers, to which I am grateful for. Because of that one post, a few doors of opportunities were opened that would help my daughter that would otherwise have not been opened if I had said nothing! The feeling of vulnerability quickly dissipated as excitement filled its place.

I was able to personally speak to a few people who relate to my situation and share with them how, by the grace of God, I have been able to hold on through trying and scary circumstances which in turn gave them courage. To me this makes it all worth it! Being able to encouraging others around me, making them smile or feel some type of relief has always been one of my goals in life and this was accomplished by simply sharing my story.  

So I am leaving behind the fears and reluctance of yesteryears.  Welcome to my journey forward!

Hopefully those of you who have had similar experiences or maybe had self defeating thoughts like mine will find some hope and solace through this online friendship.  Maybe you've never had the experience like mine, but you have answers and solutions that can help others who do. I welcome you to chime in as well.

Let's share and support one another in this crazy thing we call life!  Until next time…

Yours Truly,

Tiana

#myjourney #movingforward #anewbeginning